I lost the only true love of my life and my best friend
by Jennifer
April 12 my best friend/fiancee' turned 36 years old in Heaven. I lost Steve unexpectedly on November 29, 2000. We were going to get engaged at Christmas. We made many plans and had many hopes and dreams.
We had a wonderful Thanksgiving together. The night of November 28th we had stayed up until around 2:30 a.m. talking about how much we loved each other and how it was the happiest either one of us had ever been in our lives. I finally went to bed because I had a headache,but he stayed up watching TV and fell asleep on the couch.
When I went to wake him for work the next morning, I saw some papers sitting next to him. The first thing I read was a one page letter done on a yellow legal tablet. It was a letter to me saying how he loves me so much, wants to live happily ever after with me, how he can't believe how good & complete he feels with me, how he can't imagine ever being apart from me again, how he'll never cheat on me, lie to me or abuse me, or leave me, and how he wants to be someone I can be proud of and believe in on a daily basis.
He must have fallen asleep while writing it because it ended in mid-sentence and was unsigned. I started to wake him up. He was snoring very loudly and making a sound I had never heard him make before. He wouldn't wake up. I started pulling on his arms and shaking his face. Then I got a cold wet washcloth and started wiping him with it but he still didn't wake up. I left him alone and started to get ready to go to my sister's to baby-sit my nephews.
I wrote him a note saying I was a little worried because I couldn't wake him up and for him to call me at my sister's as soon as he got up. I went to lay it next to him and walk out the door but saw that there was foam coming out of the side of his mouth and he was no longer making that snoring sound. He's a big teddy bear with a big belly and all of a sudden I realized his belly was no longer moving up and down. Then I called my sister and said I may not be there to baby-sit because I couldn't wake Steve. She asked if he was breathing and I said I didn't think so and she said to call 911 (Duh!).
It was like I was in a fog or something. Why I didn't call them sooner I don't know. While 911 had me on the line they asked if I knew CPR and I said I did and they said to drag him to the floor and they'd talk me through it. I tried but I couldn't budge him. Within five minutes I heard the sirens. They got his pulse back and got a heartbeat. They brought Steve out to the ambulance (where they had me) to take him to the hospital and I had to go back in the house to answer the Police Lieutenant's cold questions.
I started screaming his name, pushing on him really hard and pulling each of his eyelids up.
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